i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize