my phone cant type all the emotion im having
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just blew my weed a kiss
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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