I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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