I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
