just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
