i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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