Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
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Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
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And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize