I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
No subtext here. People are naked.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
