My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
