pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
