please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
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I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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