I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
