I only kidnapped one of them. chill
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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