if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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