end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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