I faked an abortion last night.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
