he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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