THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
