??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize