lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
