laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize