im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
