lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
