so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
