if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
