STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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