I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
