You're so nebulous sometimes
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Sober January is a disaster.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
