My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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