you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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