Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
