Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
