We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize