Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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