The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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