How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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