Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
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He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
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Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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