YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
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By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
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No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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