OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Randomize
