I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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