ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
