If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
