What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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