The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
