my phone needs a breathalizer
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
