they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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