the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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