Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize