I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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