i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
