Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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