is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
