you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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