It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
