i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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