This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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